LOVING THEM VS BEING LOVED BY THEM
I was never bothered with Emma having Down syndrome. The radiologist who performed her ultrasound really bothered me with statements such as: "You really have to love these children"
(why does he think people have children?) and "Nowadays, people want their children perfect looking and performing" (Maybe in his world; he makes kids sound as if they are machines or tools). He offered me these comments because I was 39 and decided not to have an amnio...
Then, when he saw the baby was a girl, he was really, really relieved and told me that the chances of having a D.S. baby was less in girls than in boys... After Emma was born, I reflected often over this guy who thought he had all the answers. Not anymore!!!
Emma is now 5. And I came to believe that because of her coming into my life, I am now a happier person.
Because of Emma, I have met so many wonderful people. I am now more assertive. I see very clearly what's important to me; not to others.
Because of Emma, I permit myself to jump over the cracks on the sidewalks while counting them out loud, and I enjoy doing it as much as she does! Without her, I would never do such a thing...
Because of Emma, I quit a very demanding job, took a "challenged" adult boarder (Gaby) and enjoy watching my 2 daughters grow while getting familiar (because of Gaby) with the adult aspects of being challenged (I'm getting ready for when Emma gets there.)
Of course, there are down sides. I am still changing diapers even though Emma is 5; it doesn't even bother me. Emma has a few health issues and we have integrated therapists into our daily routine. I have a very sore back from lifting (too ofen) a 45 pound child, but hey I love dancing with her sitter on my lap.
My biggest BEEF is when I hear people expressing beliefs that parents like me have to make so many sacrifices to their supposably previous perfect lives. I believe that by sacrifice, they mean becoming selfless. And where is it written that making sacrifices lead to unhappiness?
Emma has a bubbly personality. She is very independant. She loves playing with her sick grandpa and doesn't even care if he forgets to put his dentures back in his mouth... She is truly the sunshine of my life.
I don't put expectations up or down with Emma. I simply marvel at who she is and all of her successes are a reason to celebrate her life. There are so many expectations pushed upon "regular" kids (Don't move; you can't get dirty-don't say bad words-be polite-etc), I believe that if we treated them a little more leniently and remembered to let them be kids, they would grow up to be happier adults.
So here, doctor radiologist: I REALLY LOVE EMMA AND SHE REALLY LOVES ME BACK, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!
(why does he think people have children?) and "Nowadays, people want their children perfect looking and performing" (Maybe in his world; he makes kids sound as if they are machines or tools). He offered me these comments because I was 39 and decided not to have an amnio...
Then, when he saw the baby was a girl, he was really, really relieved and told me that the chances of having a D.S. baby was less in girls than in boys... After Emma was born, I reflected often over this guy who thought he had all the answers. Not anymore!!!
Emma is now 5. And I came to believe that because of her coming into my life, I am now a happier person.
Because of Emma, I have met so many wonderful people. I am now more assertive. I see very clearly what's important to me; not to others.
Because of Emma, I permit myself to jump over the cracks on the sidewalks while counting them out loud, and I enjoy doing it as much as she does! Without her, I would never do such a thing...
Because of Emma, I quit a very demanding job, took a "challenged" adult boarder (Gaby) and enjoy watching my 2 daughters grow while getting familiar (because of Gaby) with the adult aspects of being challenged (I'm getting ready for when Emma gets there.)
Of course, there are down sides. I am still changing diapers even though Emma is 5; it doesn't even bother me. Emma has a few health issues and we have integrated therapists into our daily routine. I have a very sore back from lifting (too ofen) a 45 pound child, but hey I love dancing with her sitter on my lap.
My biggest BEEF is when I hear people expressing beliefs that parents like me have to make so many sacrifices to their supposably previous perfect lives. I believe that by sacrifice, they mean becoming selfless. And where is it written that making sacrifices lead to unhappiness?
Emma has a bubbly personality. She is very independant. She loves playing with her sick grandpa and doesn't even care if he forgets to put his dentures back in his mouth... She is truly the sunshine of my life.
I don't put expectations up or down with Emma. I simply marvel at who she is and all of her successes are a reason to celebrate her life. There are so many expectations pushed upon "regular" kids (Don't move; you can't get dirty-don't say bad words-be polite-etc), I believe that if we treated them a little more leniently and remembered to let them be kids, they would grow up to be happier adults.
So here, doctor radiologist: I REALLY LOVE EMMA AND SHE REALLY LOVES ME BACK, THANK YOU VERY MUCH!!!
posted by Camille at 6:31 PM
1 Comments:
I think you just found the title of the book you are going to write someday
"Because of Emma"
Wouldn't that be beautiful?
You are so right -- making sacrifices does not equal unhappiness.
If we lived in a perfect world, we'd have no perspective -- we'd never realize our blessings or recognize our own happiness.
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