Saturday, September 29, 2007


I need help.
Emma swears.
Since a while, she has been saying J-C. At first, only us knew what she was saying because she couldn't pronounce it very well. But being the trooper that she is, she has perfected her J-C to a very clear swear.Carl was bringing groceries to the car, Emma was sitting in the cart. They hit a bump on the pavement, and there goes Emma: J-C, loud and clear. The problem was she said it just as an older lady was passing by. She lifted her head in shock, wondering if she had heard right.
We have tried to tell her that her saying this word is not nice. We have tried to redirect her to say Jee Whiz. It only works sometimes...
But this is the least of my worries...
I will admit that she might have picked up the J-C word from home. No, we are not perfect; far from it...
Here is my problem:
Since she is back at school, she has started to say, get ready for this, " Ha, F...". This is terrible. And it did not come from our house.
Emma used to growl or whine when things did not work her way, now she says: Ha, F... And this one is very clear, thank you very much!!! We are all in shock. She seems to say it at the appropriate moments...I keep repeating to her not to say that, that it is not nice. It doesn't work. Try to make her say: Ha Fudgesicle... Hmmm, I need something more convincing. The other day, I had 3 teenagers in the car. At one point, no one was talking. And of course, the dreaded curse came out of Emma's mouth! They all started to quietly giggle. They nearly had me going too. But I had to say something, it seemed a very weak effort from my part.
Emma is in a regular grade one class in the morning and in a Live and Learn class in the afternoon. Last year, they were 5 children in that class. This year, the class grew to 8 or 9 children. Did she pick up that bad word from the older children? I don't know. But she also did something weird the other day. Emma was holding a hockey stick and she would say: Growl, kill you. I looked at her and said: Caillou (a t.v. character in Canada). No, she said. Growl, kill you.
I need to talk with Emma's teachers. I do not want my little girl to carry that kind of language. Is it just a phase?
I need guidance, I need reassurance, I need ideas, I need help!!!


Friday, September 21, 2007


I miss you Paige...
Paige is that beautiful girl who was born 4 years and one day before Emma.
Paige is the very first child who has D.S. that I saw after Emma was born. In a "Down syndrome kit" that was given to me at the Children's Hospital, one hour away from home. Here she was, in that kit, cute as can be, offering me her mommy's attentive ear to listen to my apprehensions. And guess what? She lives only 15 minutes away...
Paige is that knock out Blondie, who I could watched blossom and break barriers; then I knew Emma would get there too someday...
Paige is that angelic face that never fails to produce gorgeous pictures.
Paige doesn't talk much, but she makes these unique, musical sounds that are so appeasing...
Paige is that school pionneer who inspired me in choosing Emma's school; a decision I have never regretted making...
Paige is that water godess who can float around the pool so leisurely, her hair up, appreciating a lazy moment of relaxation...
Paige is that girl whose older sister loves to pieces. Dakotah is always there for her little sister.
Paige is that girl whose mommy dresses up like a queen. Always trendy, always chic, she is a fashion card.
Paige is that girl who shares her whole family with dozen of other children who play baseball every Saturday of the summer...
Paige is that girl whose daddy is quiet, but, oh, so present...
Paige is that girl that Emma bosses around sometimes and yes, she puts up with it!
Paige is that girl that made me discover a wonderful friend: her mom, Betsy.
Paige is the one who introduced Emma to horseback riding.
Paige is that ray of sunshine who always shares her toys with Emma when we arrive at her house, more often than not, unannounced!
Paige is the cutest 10 year old girl I know who, when she sees me, comes straight to me for a hug... Or I should say, hugs. Because, you see, when Paige and I see each other, we hug, we snuggle, I talk to her, she sings to me. And while we catch up with each other, nothing or nobody else exist. This is our special moment and she is my special friend.
You see, I used to see Paige at least once a week. But I am back to work now and can no longer make it to the weekly swimming meet. If you ask me what is the hardest thing going back to work, I truly have to say, making it to the pool for my weekly hugs...
I miss you Paige!


Tuesday, September 11, 2007


Emma never ceases to amaze me.
Actually, she very often blows me away. She is my source of energy, hapinness and complete freedom of the soul.
Her mind is constantly looking for stimulus. Her imagination has no limits. And if I play along with it, its brings me such pleasure.
This morning, while waiting for the bus, we were signing "The wheels on the bus". After signing a verse or 2, I started to say: The......Emma would add "cheesies", then we'd sign the cheesies on the bus go CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH. The....Emma said BURT (from Sesame Street), then we'd sing The Burt on the bus go HA-HA-HA. Then she said ERNIE, we'd sing The Ernie on the bus go CHI-CHI-CHI, with our hands in front of our mouth (just like the caracter). Then I'd say The.....she said cat, The cat on the bus go Meow, Meow, Meow. And the dog, then came the letters of the alphabet: The W on the bus go Wa, Wa, Wa. And so on...
The way she embarks on these games is awesome. I really get into it with her and it completely takes away anything else from my mind.
Aren't I lucky to have my very own, unique, live-in therapist?
I hope Emma keeps this aspect of her personality as she grows. I certainly will do my very darn best to preserve her bubbliness. I can see us signing together when I am 65 and Emma is 26!!!


Saturday, September 08, 2007


After writing my post about: An amazing soul, I went browsing on my friends' blogs. Amy brought to my attention an article in Vanity Fair, about Arthur Miller having a 4th child…Daniel, who has Down Syndrome. (find it on the web: Arthur Miller and the missing act)

I’ve always told myself I would not pass judgments on other people’s decisions… The content of this article made me think, think hard.

Even though I tried hard to imagine the context some 40 years ago, it was not easy for me to find compassion and understanding. But I succeeded; I will not pass judgment.

But stories like that do make me sad. I am sad for all the missed tiny moments people like Mr. Miller denied himself, and his son.

All I can think about is : If only they had known…. The joys, the warmth, the lessons my daughter enriches me with, Mr. Miller and his wife would have held on to Daniel as their most pecious gift...



Later on, you will see where this is leading to...
Emma is now 6 1/2 years old. She still wears diapers. The inside of her legs look like elephant skin. Also, in the back, she has this sore that just won't go away. Doctors have given us about 4 different kinds of ointment. Those bad spots just don't go away. So Emma and I apply "cream" on a daily basis.
This week was quite busy for everyone. I am back to work after 4 years of being at home, Amy started high school and Emma is now in grade one and goes to school every day. All week, I could tell this daily schooling was quite tiring for her. She whined a lot, was less patient, and went to be much earlier...
Today, Emma and I were "outside" in our p.j.'s at 7:30. Then I did a bit of cooking and baking, took her back outside for another little while. Then I had to attack the pile of dishes, and later on, start the 3 loads of laundry that were waiting for my attention. Through it all Emma was whinning: "Mommy, outside. Mommyyyyyyyyyy, outside". While I was washing the dishes, she brought her little bench right beside me, got up on it and tugged at my arm: "Mommy, outside, Mommyyyyy, outside, MOMMYYYYYYYY OUTSIDE". God, how much more patience can I extract from way within myself?
That whinning lasted until about noon. Then, my friend who had a mastectomy only 10 days ago, showed up. She asked if I could change her bandages. Of course I would. We ripped the old stuff away. Her incision is quite large and still stitched with staples. Emma was still going on about going outside. I showed her my friend's wound and told her look,
" " has a booboo. Emma looked and took off....
While I was cleaning the wound, Emma came back with her "butt cream" and said : " ", for you, cream".
After feeling on the verge of having no patience left at all whatsover, here is my little girl, offering relief to our friend who has a booboo. We both went: "Ahhhh, Emma, that's so nice, thank you very much!!!" Of course, we had to pretend to apply the cream before putting the new bandage on. Emma even helped pulling the part that you peel while leaving the see through tape on.
Moments like that always make me think about those people who believe our lives have lost some of its "glitter" when Emma joined our family. How wrong are they? If only they knew...



Today, was Amy's last horse show of the season. She did well on her beloved horse.
Amy is now attending High School. I am so proud of her. She has met and introduced herself to all of the special need teenagers who go to her school.

So far, she has had a 5 minute late notice (because she wheeled Catherine, who has cerebral palsy, who had a sore back that day, to her class!). She also met 2 guys who have Down Syndrome. They were trying to squeeze Catherine's wheelchair through a narrow doorway. Amy offered to help, but just guided the front of the chair while letting the guys push. I love you, Amy, you have a great soul!!!

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